TV

So, here is the thing about the frequency of the blog posts.

In the beginning, when Clare was 1-2 months old (which I believe is before I even started the blog) she slept. Like no body's business. This kid would take a nap every three hours. I would usually have grand plans about getting things done (like a shower or brushing my teeth). Instead, I would take a nap. Or finish whatever train wreck show I was watching during the last feeding on TLC. Then, I would walk towards the shower and she would wake. Instantly. It was like magic. So, I took showers, with her on the boppy on the floor. I would poke my head out every 3-4 minutes and make faces or sing. Hot stuff.

Then, around 3-4 months, Clare started wiggling around a little and sleeping a little less. So showers consisted of her wiggling off the boppy if at all possible. So, before I could shower, I would clean the bathroom floor and lay her on a blanket on the padded rug, on her boppy, with toys tied to the towel bar and sing songs and pop my head out every 1-2 minutes.

Next, Clare was 5-6 months, and would take 2 naps a day. And she could ROLL. Clearly a genius, she could ROLL. And so, I would place pillows all around the bathroom and she could ROLL around and sit up. However, we have a tiny bathroom. Like baby sized. So, too soon she could reach gross things, and it was time for Clare to play in her crib, while I shower. Still not smart enough (most days) to shower during nap, I would hustle her upstairs into the crib with every non-choking hazard toy and let her play, which would last 3-4 minutes and I would race through my shower, singing loudly, camp songs. Delightful. 'Cause my voice is mediocre at a whisper. It's beyond interesting at a scream. Shaving my legs became a thing of the past. Or at least both legs. There were 1 or 2 times that I would jump out of the shower with one leg shaved. Or one stripe on one leg shaved. I'm telling you, it's hot stuff.

Fast forward to now. Clare has a BFF, called tv. I'm not proud of this. I swore she would not watch tv until she was 2 years old, per the AAP. However, it's like crack. There is this show. It's bizarre. Very strange things happen on this show. Somehow I have 14 episodes on my DVR. And she freakin' loves it! Loves it! It's called Yo Gabba Gabba. I will put a link in a comment to their website if you have not yet had the pleasure of this show. And there are tons of people that sing songs on this show. And they do the dancey-dance. And they teach lessons. And life skills.
Here are some examples taught in song:
1. Don't, Don't, Don't bite your friends! Chomp, Chomp, Chomp? No, No, No.
2. Please & Thank you, Please & Thank you, Please & Thank you. Magic, Magic, Magic.
3. Try It! You'll Like it! Try It! And you'll like it!
4. Skippy, Skippy, Skip, Skip (also there is another version, called jumpy, jumpy, jump, jump...very different).

You see, people, I can't make this crap up. Because I wouldn't be able to teach Clare these skills. Sure, don't bite your friends, but you may need to in a pinch. I mean she only has 2 teeth. Who is going to take her seriously if she doesn't give a good chomp? And please and thank you are great. Great. Until you've asked someone 3 damn times to take out the trash. Then, eventually, you have to drop the please part. Because it isn't magic when you are speaking to a bad listener.
And, you may not always like it. Like deviled eggs. And things Aunt Erin eats. Don't bother to try it. It's gross. I gave Clare beets the other night. She freaked out. Lost her sh**. Cried with her mouth open, tongue out (like please get this nasty thing off, it's so gross). So, upon smelling it, she probably could have ascertained that, no, trying it would not make her like it.

That said, Clare (as previously mentioned) started waving about a month ago. So, here's the thing. I don't wave (especially not to my neighbors, the damn weirdos). Chris, the more likely of the two of us to wave, also, not a waver. So, we realized this morning, Clare learned to wave from tv! From Yo Gabba Gabba, my shower savior. All validated. We realized she waves to the tv when she hears Hi and Bye. These shows are genius. If it could only teach her cook and take out the trash, we would be golden!

Since it's mostly girls that read my blog, I think they should create an adult male Yo Gabba Gabba. Think of all that would be accomplished. We could tie it into sports or girls in bathing suits (or both!). We would have to name it something tricky. Suggestions? We could have catchy little songs. Like,
Don't, Don't, Don't PutYourDirtyDishInTheSinkWhenTheDishwasherIsEmpty
AndPerfectlyReadyForDirtyDishes..
Or something similar. We could work on the phrasing. Make it more campy.

I mean if Clare can learn to wave....just think of the possibilities!