Yes, I can hear her. I just don't care.

I'll post more pics after Easter.

Today, I had a migraine. What started off as a semi crappy 3 on the migraine scale, quickly surpassed my expectations of it leaving and rounded into a full blown several doses of medication migraine. It wasn't very pretty at our house.

Since I was going to go grocery shopping on Tuesday or Wednesday and had yet to do so, the original game plan was that I would get my coupons together and head out this afternoon. Per the above awesomeness, it just didn't happen. Despite Serena's extreme girth, I felt guilty that she was out of food, so I headed to Target to get the essentials until tomorrow.

Chris had plans tonight, so that meant I had to drag Clare with me. She eyed up the competition in the car (me) and realized this would be a good trip.

I had a short list and a naive hope that we would be in and out in 10 minutes. I pulled up next to cart return, pulled out my spray Lysol (too lazy to wipe down the handles) and sprayed disinfectant in the general direction of the cart. As soon as I pulled Clare out of her car seat, I knew this wasn't going to go well. If I was smarter, I would have put her right back in the car and given Serena a dinner of milk bones. Or left overs. Or green beans.

Onward and Upward, we went into Target. Clare began playing musical cart right away, which is never a good sign. Musical cart is the game where she wants to be in the front, facing me and then suddenly launches herself into the back of the cart, where she screams bloody murder if you try to help her get back there without allowing her to dive head first onto the floor. She then sits in the back of the cart, laying flat on her belly and tries to stick her tongue in between the holes in the cart. I, finding this to be disgusting, no matter how much Lysol I used, then look like a total A-hole in trying to convince my child to sit up and not lick the cart as we wheel around Target.

Tonight, I didn't have it in me. I just decided to risk running into someone I knew and kept moving. After a fight to the death in the food section, where Clare no longer wanted to touch the cart (as in not one finger can touch the cart, so I have to hold her, push the cart one handed and try not running into others) I was already over this trip. She really wanted down to run around and cause mass destruction, so while I'm pushing the cart, she's wiggling and slapping me to get down.

The last stop on our way out the door was for laundry detergent. I saw our brand on the end cap with a "bonus 10 extra loads" on the front. I pulled into the aisle and couldn't find the price comparison to find out if it was really cheaper per a unit and was to cranky to just throw it in the cart and leave.

Clare, took this opportunity to throw herself on the ground and SCREAM at the very TOP of her LUNGS. She screamed and cried and hit me and tried to pull away. I blocked the busy end of the aisle with my cart and used her pant leg to my advantage, by stepping on it with my shoe (again, she was all the way laid out on the ground) to hold her in place so I could use my cell calculator to do the math. She screamed louder and tried to pull my foot off her pants while people stopped by to see what in the heck was happening in the cleaning aisle and I acted as if I had no idea a small troll was attempting to hit and bite me while screeching and crying louder than fight at Ann's Tavern.

After figuring out the better deal (my gut was right=never trust an end-cap) I loaded her into the cart of 1,000 tortures and continued to let her scream at the top of her lungs while I calmly walked towards the check out like I was totally deaf. Multiple customers stopped to stare. The cashier looked horrified and is probably currently checking her birth control as I type. Clare screamed all the way through the parking lot too. The nice Mom with normal children looked horrified as she loaded Little Miss Giovanna GoodManners and her brother, Little Mr. Best Behaved Bruno into the car.

So, if you saw us tonight at Target: Yes, I can hear her. I just don't care. Even a little.

Shhhhh....it's a secret.

I'm not sure if you know this about me.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
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I'm kinda an awesome singer.
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Hahahaha...April Fools! I'm a totally awesome Singer! Duh!


Like I could win award, I'm so awesome. If you've seen me intoxicated (*which I would estimate the vast majority of you have*), you've seen me dance. You probably have not heard me sing. I'm actually as awesome at singing as I am at dancing. Draw your own conclusions.

As a master singer/songwriter, I've decided to use my many talents to encourage Clare to eat food that even Serena (the fattest dog alive) won't touch. Clare is on the BRAT diet (self-explanatory as to why if you choose to Google) and thus is enjoying a vast variety of foods.

Chris, confused by this concept, suggested several options for her for dinner last night:
-PB&J with bananas on top
-Bananas mushed up on crackers with chocolate drizzled on top
-Grilled cheese with rice layered in between

I had to explain that the BRAT diet was actually the entire, all encompassing list of foods she was to eat. Not a suggested list of ingredients in a large, fat laden dinner.

However, back to my singing. So, I was talking to Clare yesterday about dinner for us tonight (assuming we are off the BRAT diet) and asked if she wanted homemade chicken potpie. She said, "No". I asked her again (because, really at 18 months old, she might change her mind) and still heard, "Noooooo". So, I started singing her my new favorite song:

ChickiePotPie, ChickiePotPie,
I want me some yummy ChickiePotPie.
Chickie, Chickie, Chickie
(**insert chicken dance arm flapping and chicken sounds like bwaaack, bwaaaack, bwaaack**), Chickiepotpie.

Clare's thoughts? She cried.

Because nothing makes you want something to eat like being reminded of the sound the animal made while alive, right?

I, so in love with my new song, sang it for my sister last night. She hung up on me.

This morning, we had multiple variations of this theme revolving around toast, bananas and applesauce. All big fat fails on the encouraging Clare to eat front.

While she's not on a hunger strike, she has started crying every time I start singing.

I'm going to assume it has nothing to do with my voice and everything to do with her cranky attitude.



*Side note: Honestly, I don't even know if anyone reads this blog that hasn't seen me drinking. If so, please leave a comment, because I'm not sure we've met.

**Do you love the mental picture of me singing and doing the chicken dance? It was hot.**

Lots of pictures...in no particular order...

At the zoo, checking out the chickens. She was not nearly as a afraid as I was.
We tried to convince her to get a pic with the statue and she was scared to death.

Checking out more animals in the Petting Zoo.
Watching the swan boats

Happy St. Patty's DAY!
Slightly more amused...The Green Beer in her Sippy Cup did the trick!
"Who, Me?"
All wrapped up to watch cartoons with Daddy in the morning.

The down side to getting an Oreo before dinner from Grandpa: Cleaning up the evidence.
Less than amused with the hand wiping.
She was such a mess in this picture. I would make it the main pic on the page since it's literally A HOT MESS, but I would feel guilty. She had piggy tails in on our way from Cincy to Cleveland, a runny nose and was just wild. That's what her hair looks like post pig tails and she was cheesing it for the camera.
Coloring with Daddy
"This is sewius"
Cracking up with Aunt Erin
Ready to go over to see Great Grandma and Grandpa Richardson's pond.
Letting the fish nibble on her fingers.

She loved the flashlight.
AWWWW....Hugging her cousin! They are the same age and so cute together:)
Telling her cousin Noah a story.

Wild eyed
Laughing at Aunt Erin some more.
Beating up her big cousin Jeff
Using all of tools, pant-less fighting with a grocery cart
Tagging the bear in for her help
Studying the alphabet train
Nana and Pop Pop at Great Grandmom Bohl's Surprise 80th!


The pics are crazy out of order! I loaded them in this morning while emptying the dishwasher, pulling dinner out for tonight, periodically saving Serena from Clare, pulling Clare off the table (she found a new way up) and all that jazz. So, excuse the disorderliness of this post:0

Clare had a follow up to her ear infection visit today (it was scheduled for tomorrow, but I moved it up because she still seems to be pulling on her ear, so the sooner the better).

I'll be sure to fill you all in soon!

Hope everyone had a great few weeks!

Coloring with Daddy

Clare's new favorite activity is coloring. She loves pens, markers and crayons. She even fake writes with weird things like apples, hair clips and her straw.

Counting, sorta

So, I've started this rumor my kid can say her numbers 1-10 (although, honestly I haven't heard the number 3 in weeks).

I do actually have a few witnesses. (ahem, Aunt Erin and Aunt Heather, just to name a few)

I have significantly more people that have seen me try to convince Clare to count and about 93 hours of film of me trying to convince Clare to count on camera.

Irony?

Clare was counting in her crib this morning to herself before I went to get her. Chris and I were listening to it on the monitor.

At this point, short of walking around carrying a recorder at all times, I have to assume by my belated start of the camera and catching only numbers 6-9, this will have to suffice.

I'm fairly certain she is mocking me. Or at least taunting me by counting when she knows I can't reach the camera.








P.S. Ignore the mess and Christmas jammies. This was the night we arrived from our surprise trip home, so it's a little wild.

P.P.S. You brat. I know you just re-watched the video to peek at the jammies and mess.

Flash Dance

Clare can totally flash dance.

As you can see, Heather, Erin and I spend most of our time with Clare making her perform stunts that amuse us. At this point she isn't really bringing much to the table for story time, so we are really helping her out.

Slow updates

I'm having a tough time getting it together:)

So, I'll start adding videos and pics in no particular order!

The video above was Clare being super cute in Cincy with the very strange little bowing motion after she claps. I have no idea where she learned it, but it was cracking us up.