Note to self

Dear Current April,

Now, dear, I hate to say it. But really. I did tell you so. Several months ago, when Clare started to make progress towards crawling (at that point she could only roll to her next destination) I warned you to baby proof. I made it very clear that this would be the ideal time. However, you scoffed at me. Tsk, Tsk. You are such a procrastinator. Always have been.
Now look at the mess you are in. Clare can crawl. Anywhere she wants. She can cruise (walking anywhere she can hold on to). She finds items on the floor you weren't even aware existed. The wad of gum in cheek on Thursday she was chewing? That was a piece of newspaper she had torn off at her diaper change. The dime she tried desperately to pick up this afternoon under the couch? Tasty. The wire that runs to the sub woofer? Delicious.
But did you heed my advice? No. You have "worked" with children for years. You are an expert. Well, have fun running around after her. FYI-she may have only managed one step on Friday, but that is only the beginning. She will make it upstairs, soon. She will climb baby jail. She is stubborn (and just whose fault it that?). So, continue your daily exercise of chasing after her, instead of realizing that your current design scheme will simply not work with small children.

Below is a starting list of things that should be fixed, ASAP:

1. Metal side tables with sharp corners and glass tops...really? Are you stupid? Whether she cracks her head open on the edge first or slams a toy down and breaks the glass first is unseen, but, again, are your serious?
2. Ummm, wine glasses, hanging upside down, eye level in a wine bar? Self explanatory.
3. Steps (see the aforementioned issue).
4. Wires, everywhere. Daddy's surround sound is soon to be destroyed.
5. Silk blinds? Fantastic new purchase. Did you miss the memo that you have a child?
6. New area rugs? See above.
7. Tablecloths are just a means for her to get items she can not reach. Her joy in pulling them off the table (and thus the breakable items on the table with it) towards her (as she has already demonstrated) is one of her favorite pastimes. Is cleaning it up one of yours?
8. Dog hair in places you could not even fathom give her immense fun in finding. Learn to sweep under things. Like couch cushions.
9. She will eat the dog food if Abby continues to bury in her blankets. (*Hint: don't let Abby hide them in her blankets)
10. Yes, dripping bottles upside down and all over the new rug is fun. Thanks for asking her. She will continue to do so, unless you take it away.

Please note that many of the items above where taken from her to-do list for tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Your Common Sense, which you must have left at the hospital when you gave birth.

Baby Ballerina Barres

Clare is a cruiser! Chris has, ummm, "creative" uses for baby products. For example, I was recently at Target and purchased Walking Wings (http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2668286). The other morning, Chris used the Walking Wings to lift Clare onto Serena's back and allow Clare to hold onto Serena and "ride" Serena like a pony. Delightful. Yesterday morning I came down to see Chris sitting on the couch, with a broom stuck between 2 cushions. The handle of the broom was shoved into baby jail, with a crafty pin in the hole at the top of the handle, to prevent the handle from slipping out. On the ballerina barre was Clare, holding on, both of them very engrossed in Kung Fu Panda. So, being creative (Chris, not me) he purchased 2 fancy dollar store mops and they now run like parallel bars through the baby jail. While this wonderful product is very Klassy with a capital K, it did provide Clare with the necessary tools to show off that she is clearly a genius. She can now pull herself up from any position, cruise all around the room (even letting go of items to take steps with out assistance towards other items) and somehow as also managed to crawl (forward). Although, I'm not sure how the barre helped the last one.
So, in one day, Chris managed to teach Clare more than I have in 8 months. I was less than amused. He said he can't wait for when he's alone with her for 4 days next week. I can only imagine.....

So, fun stories....

As many of you may have noticed, I'm not a fan of mobility. While I've often said, I want her to meet benchmarks, exceeding them is simply not neccessary in this particular arena. Mobility=bad things. I still haven't read the entire instruction manual that Clare didn't come with, so I'm not sure what terrible thing she will get into first, but it should be fun. However, one milestone I'm glad we did exceed/meet is......

CLARE SAID HER FIRST WORD!!!!

So, of course Chris thought I was crazy/making it up/drinking. Possible: one of those was true. It started when we came back from Cincy. She had making constant/vowel sounds for quite awhile, however nothing that sounded like words we've ever heard of. Then, I put her down for nap last week and I hear, "MOM" over and over again. Thinking I'm crazy, I assume it's just her usually "Get-me-the-hell-out-of-this-swing-I-hate-it-and-wish-to-light-it-on-fire-I'm-not-ti.....::snore::". So, I jokingly tell Chris. He explains (in his expert child development voice) that she may be making the sounds, but she clearly has no idea who she is making them at (i.e. she is saying Mom, but doesn't mean to/has no idea what it means). Never one to lose an arguement, Clare and I have several conversations this week about the issue. They mostly go like this:

Me: Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom (times 10)
Clare: silent, scream, pinch your face
Me: Clare-bear (sing-songy voice), I'm Mommy. I love you. Say Mom, mom, mom, mom...
Clare: Ahhhhhh. Gahhhhh. Bahhhhh. squirm to get away from crazy lady....

So, through out the week, she starts saying it more. I being overly confindent, begin calling people to share. Grandmama, Steph, Becky, Heather. Anyone I think I can trick into listening while I set the phone down and walk out of the room (when she "calls" for me). Erin and Nana were saved with being out of the country and Aunt Lisa also avoided the call with me having been to her work once and realizing it's serious. So, after many phone calls in which people listen to crickets chirp, my baby eat the phone or Clare throwing toys, I've stopped calling. I have however, called Chris about 100 times to tell him.
Then on Friday I went to a Mommy's play group and took her to the nursery. While I was out, she totally said Mom to the older women that work the nursery when she was getting hungry and started looking for me. When I went to pick her up, as soon as she saw me, she said "Mom" and they told me the story. Since I didn't know these people all that well, I refrained from doing my Ally McBeal Happy Dance (like the fat little baby with one hand in the hair, I rock it out often, very similar to the Smarty Pants Dance). However, later when Chris came home, it was a very lengthy dance session. Then, yesterday Chris put the baby down for nap and she called for me. Christmas has come early. I was right (which almost matches the Mommy joy of Clare saying her first word)!

In other news, Clare has mastered a talent I've never learned. How to be quiet. I'm a bit of talker and never learned to keep my mouth shut (unless I was listening in on gossip I wasn't suppose to hear, I still get really quiet). I gave Clare applesauce the other morning and she was less than amused with it. So, I left the bowl on her tray and walked out of the room. I *knew* she was going to get it everywhere, but if it kept her busy, so be it. Sure enough, it was in her hair, her ears and she even tried to shove it down the side of her diaper. However, for 25 minutes she was totally silent. Almost as if she knew if she spoke, I would come back in and her fun would be over.

So, the message of today, is all about Clare's communication skills. :) I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. Clare will enjoying some yummy watermelon tonight. I'll be sure to write more later.

Way past due...

Yes, I realize this is way over due. We had a bit of a wild week...I'll be sure to update more (maybe even double post:)

Cincy was a great trip. Clare slept like a champ on both flights. I always feel for the person walking down the aisle towards me. Depending on the gender, you can see the realization dawn on their face that they are going to be trapped next to an infant for about 2 hours. They typically reference their ticket again, to confirm that this is their craptastic luck. Always, I love watching them scan for empty seats after the door closes. ::Taps on wood:: So far, so good.

Quick, airport Good Mommy story: I've never had to change Clare on a public changing table (I'm a germaphobe). I do my best to avoid it when we are in public. After we walked through security, Clare decided that adventure would be fun. So off to the restroom, where I had Clare in her little stroller, parked under the table (so no one steals her behind my back). Out comes the little spray can of Lysol. Ummm, I nearly asphyxiated Clare. I was spraying the entire table, straps, walls near the table, etc. when I realized below the cloud of chemicals was Clare trying to breathe. Needlessly to say, I'm sure Clare will also now hope to avoid public changing tables.

In Cincy, we were able to visit with all of the family, play on the swings and eat lots of yummy food. Clare of course "speaks" to my Mom, asking her for certain foods that I don't yet allow her to have. Grandmama could not understand why Clare isn't trying ice cream yet. So Clare had a Popsicle, fried chicken and lots of other stuff when I wasn't looking, I'm sure. I'll be sure to update more later in the week. I am going to post a few pictures here and link to a shutterfly slide show (at a later date), since there are simply too many to put on the blog:)

The one with pictures...

I've been very lazy about posting pics, hence the 42 pictures above. They organize in a different way than I load them, so I'm sure you can figure out which ones relates to each story that follows. First, we had a very, very nice Mother's Day at our house. Chris took Clare in the morning, went out and brought me my favorite breakfast (WaWa coffee and yummy sandwich:) and made the best dinner too! He had Clare for all of the "chores" all day and I spent my time cuddling with her. We went for a walk to the lake, which was great. We tried to the slide, which we quickly realized was for our benefit, not hers, as she seemed pretty unamused. Chris gave me a great card that had Clare's hand prints as a picture and her "talking" on the card. Sadly, I thought they were flowers (the hand prints) and after telling 4 people this, he explained they were her hand print. I'm awesome like that. All of the Mom's in our life had a nice Mother's Day and all is well.
Now for the pictures above:
PASTINA=FAIL
As Suzy Homemaker, I'm always trying to find Clare new and exciting foods to try. Here on the East Coast, everyone gives their babies Pastina. I, being from the midwest, barely eat pasta and have never even heard of such a thing (it's little star shaped pasta that is smaller than a star in Campbell's chicken and stars soup). So, I made a cup of pastina and used Earth's Best Pastina and Sauce to cover it with sauce. Umm, as you can see above, it went not so hot. Clare hated it. She gagged on it. I thought if I allowed her to feed herself, she would really like it. No. Not so much. Even when she was playing with the spoons, she would accidentally get one in her mouth and gag.

SERENA=SCREWED
Serena is screwed. Clare can crawl sideways and backwards. So, she finds Serena's tail no matter where Serena hides. Poor Serena just lays there and takes it. I feel for her. It's only going to go down hill from here. Clare loves her tail, except it's very gross when she eats it. Which is really what Clare wants to do. Delightful.

CLARE=THINKS SHE'S A BIG KID
Clare has decided that crawling is not all that cool. She's just going to walk. So this past week, she learned to pull herself up on her new table. (FYI, I'm blaming Nana. I've already called and explained to Nana how this is her fault. Clare did not attempt this prior to the Leapfrog Table coming out of the box). In addition to pulling herself up, she also tries to let go and walk towards us. The problem with the last sentence is that she's 8 months old. I have a little baby. I specifically requested a little baby. I do not have a big baby that can walk or think of walking yet. I would like my little baby back.

SWIMMING=LOTS OF PEOPLE WATCHING HER HAVE NAKED BABY TIME
Clare loved the pool! On Saturday we went over Aunt Ginny's for a BBQ. Uncle Jeff had taken the pool home to blow up for us and Jeffy had filled it for Clare. She has 3 swim suits, but since she was the only one that was going to be in the pool, we figured it's her party so she could pee in her pool if she wanted. She hung out for quite awhile, eating the toys. She became annoyed only after Daddy tried to make a "tidal wave" by tapping the side of the pool. Then he put her on her back to "swim" and she thought that was stupid. So it ended Naked Baby Time (which Aunt Heather has a catchy song for).

So, hope everyone had a terrific weekend. Hope all of the Mom's and Mom's to be had a great Mother's Day. Clare and I leave for Cincy this week, so I'll update next Sunday!

Lovin' Life

My life gets better everyday. It's amazing. Clare is setting a record pace. She is using every opportunity to prove me wrong. Let me share some recent examples:

1. I love shoes. For myself and Clare. I also prefer her to wear shoes in public, just cause I'm crazy like that. She thinks shoes are stupid and spends the majority of the time trying to kick them off or get them in her mouth. On Monday we had to go to the mall and it was pouring buckets. So, I park 9 miles from the actual mall, load the fat kid in the stroller and go running in. We pull into the second store, when I see that she only has one shoe on. This is despite me putting her Nike sneakers on, because they stay on her feet the best. They Velcro in like 3 spots. I know she had both on in the parking lot, because I've learned to check when I pull her out of the car seat, 'cause she's sneaky like that. So, that means it's somewhere in the 9 miles of parking lot. I suck it up and realize Clare has won this round and continue shopping, because at this point, what else are you going to do? It was a card store, and I was so busy having a conversation in my head about the lost shoe, I walked around the store like 5 times, lost and muttering to myself in search of birthday cards. Thankfully a customer, seeing how crazy I am, notices me and tells me that she was just across the mall in Things Remembered and someone had turned in my daughter's shoe. So, back across the mall we go, to get the shoe. That would be one of the 3 (yes, THREE) times I picked up Clare's shoe from a store, the floor or the foot rest of the stroller, before I thought, maybe, just maybe, I should GIVE UP and realize, Clare is not wearing shoes in public. So, Clare is awesome at taking off shoes. Especially in crowded public places.

2. Clare is also awesome at taking off bottle caps. Chris recently showed me this trick, where he hands Clare her bottle and she feeds herself. I tried it several times yesterday, and she laughed at me. She either threw the bottle across the floor or ignored it. Chris hands it to her and she holds on for dear life. We had a fairly rough day yesterday, so I gave her a bottle and went back into the kitchen while talking to Aunt Becky on the phone, to turn the flame on under the pot. I came back in and within 5 seconds, Clare had figured out how to get the lid off the bottle. She had dumped milk all over her, the floor, the blanket. The best is that she thought it was funny. It's a fantastic talent. She had 2 baths yesterday, as a result.

3. Clare thought it was amusing that I would like to change her diaper. She thinks holding still (like napping) is for wimps. The moment I suggest either, she wiggles and giggles all over. She is super proud of herself for being able to crawl sideways and backwards, as well as roll all over, so she would rather show off than get her diaper changed. She also can pull herself up, occasionally. She only tries this talent if there is an item of serious danger to her that she would like (cleaners, scissors, electrical outlets). Very delightful.

4. I've been telling people about my genius daughter. She has this ring toy and she can put the rings back on the post. It's a very clever little trick for her age. I've called everyone who will listen. I've called Chris no less than 10 times, telling him how she did it again, she's so amazing, blah, blah, blah. Then last week, I put her on the floor while we are are on skype with my family to show them. She looks at me like I'm nuts and eats the post. She acted as if she had never even seen the toy before. This weekend, Chris's entire family was over (Nana and PopPop, Great
Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins). Every time I pulled it out, she either refused to touch it or looked at me like I was crazy. It's almost like a game to her, making me look crazy.

5. I showed Nana our new bath time routine. Clare takes a bath in the sink. It's perfect. We have a little silicone mat I put down and she fits in it. She outgrew her baby bathtub and is too wiggly for the real tub. So what new fantastic talent did she show Nana? Ready? It's a good one? She pooped in her bath. It was so disgusting. I wasn't even sure what to do with it. She was playing with her cup and rubber ducky and then she got real still. And focused. So, I was suspicious and had Nana lift her up. Sure enough, poop. In the water. It was amazing.

So, if the last story was a little TMI, I'm sorry. These are just the little joys in my life now. I just have to share. Now you are up to speed on her latest and greatest. I'll be sure to post pics later in the week. I have a great one of her "eating" pastina.

So, Clare is great. She is demonstrating her new talents often. She is clearly an awesome genius, who is way smarter than her Mom.