More Reasons I Know better than Dr. Mom

So, I say screw Dr. Mom with her fancy advice and gentle suggestions. What does she know? I can't explain often enough, how much I know. Geez. When I was pregnant, my Mom, having lived with me for 18+ years remembered that I may, occasionally lose things. Like my car keys. And it would never fail that I would realize I had lost said car keys 3 minutes prior to me having to be at work. This would result in me yelling the entire house down around me, demanding that every able body person jump up and begin helping me search for my keys. If you have lived with me, you may have fallen victim to this behavior once or twice. Chris may have suffered this fate more than once. And those who have lived with me (roommates included) may know that if you do not jump up that very second I mention that I am looking for my keys, I may go out of my mind crazy on you. Not sorta mean, could you help me look for my keys? I'm talking, I am going to light you on fire as soon as I find the lighter. So, being that my Mom remembered this very endearing quality in me (despite me swearing that I have outgrown such childish tantrums) she thought I may have issues with such teeny tiny items that babies come with. For example, booties. Baby socks are so freakin tiny. It's ridiculous. Why can she wear normal socks? In this house, Chris has been known to sport my Justice logo socks, from the little girls store I worked for. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And why must every outfit have matching socks? Is it that big of a deal? So, thoughtful Grandma purchased me those handy mesh laundry bags to put them in. She sent me several of them. About 10. I think she thought I would misplace them. She advised me to put one on every level of the house and put the baby's socks in there every time I took them off. And it started out that way. I had one clipped to the hamper, so no wayward socks would scurry to the bottom, to mix in with her laundry. One in her playpen for daytime changes. One in the living room, from where I would find socks after Chris and the baby play. Then the one in the hamper never made it back to it's home. I'm not even sure about the downstairs ones. I would wash socks in them and the basement would eat the bag. I'm not sure what went wrong.
The moral to this long, boring story:
I now own ONE laundry mesh bags. However, I do own 19 socks that have no matches. The one laundry bag is currently holding the 19 single socks, waiting patiently for me to find their matches. But as I mentioned, I'm sure I know more than Dr. Mom......

Sweet Potatoes

Sweet potatoes are gross. I don't care if you put weird little marshmallows or brown sugar on them. They are still gross. And to be clear I never understood that anyway. Are you trying to make a veggie dessert? Because I'm not buying it. Aunt Erin (HAPPY BIRTHDAY) eats sweet potatoes, but then Erin will try anything. We were always getting in trouble about Erin clearing her plate. But I'm not bitter. So, even though it was a stage 1 food, I skipped it. I mean, their potatoes, how good can they really be for you? If fries were good for you, my jeans would fit. So, yesterday I gave Clare sweet potatoes. It was entertaining. She was really into them. She has learned to make a spitting sound as I put the spoon in, which results in her spitting sweet potatoes all over me, her outfit and her high chair. Charming, to say the least. So I whipped out the video camera to capture her newest "trick". Instead, she decided that maybe she would make less of a mess if she fed herself. Hence the 5+ minute video. So, if you are super bored at work, I hope you enjoy.
Reason #43 You Know Your A Mom When: You favorite (and I mean favorite) plastic Ikea drink shaker is no longer clean every evening awaiting it's primary purpose to shake pomegranate juice and vodka together because it has become the babies bath cup. As in the cup you use to pour clean water over the baby after her bath. Maybe it's gross that I even would consider using said cup. However, it's huge (which is why I love it) and works really well. It even has a little spout to help you pour (you clearly must understand why I love it).
Random Point # 3: I've been negligent in my duties in discussing my child's favorite person. This person is the friend she says good morning and good night to. She coos and smiles at them ever time she sees them. The love of her life. It is Mr. Light. The dining room light is her favorite person in the whole house. Even when she's really crabby, she will make "pretty eyes" as Grandma calls them, at the light. Loves it. So we've nicknamed it Mr. Light. He has soundly beat the pants off of Mr. Fan. What can I say? Clare is a fickle girl. It used to be that Mr. Fan was the thing she looked forward to everyday. The only issue with Mr. Fan is that he's in our bedroom and I lay her on the bed while I get dressed after my shower. I think she started looking at Mr. Fan because it was awkward. I mean, I was getting dressed. It was like a girl's locker room. You know, where you stare at the locker and have perfected the bra-change-under-your-shirt move. So, her love affair with Mr. Fan may have started in an attempt to not be shocked at the size muffin top I roll with. (FYI to any boys reading: Girl's Locker Rooms are not like in the movies, EVER. We do none of the things you have ever seen in ANY movie). I just wanted you all to know of her new favorite friend Mr. Light in case she would decide to introduce you (just don't tell Mr. Fan).
P.S. Again with the comments. Since we've seen an uptick in the # of comments, the new way must be easier. All you have to do is select name/url and enter in the name column who you are and then leave a comment. Hope that helps. I will write more later.

Dr. Mom

Do you remember those terrible commercials from Robitussin? About how Dr. Mom knows best? Well, I'm slightly irritated, that they may be correct. We introduced solids early (we are fat fans in this house, we love chubby babies). Nearly every conversation I've had with Dr. Mom about solids has resulted in her saying the following:
"Just be careful with berries. They are the only thing that ever bothered you. Don't give her berries for awhile." Blah, blah, no berries. Blah, blah, blah. Berries=Bad things
But what does she know? They put babies to sleep on their bellies. Gave them water in a bottle. I mean I have books. Pediatricians. Parenting Gods of google. The internet. I know all. I've been a Mom (still weird to type that) for 5 whole months. I've worked with kids for years. I am Dr. Mom. Umm, no. That would be incorrect. On Saturday Chris and I went to BRU (Babies 'R Us) to pick up a gift. Just one gift. Clare needs nothing from the store. I asked Chris to walk around with her in the cart while I picked out the gift. He came back with a semi-full cart. It was impressive. He shopped faster than a girl in an outlet mall. DVD's, fancy lighted mirror for the car. We also picked up more baby food. Clare has eaten all of the Stage 1 foods, so it's onto Stage 2. So, we stroll up to the Earth's Best Organic aisle and pick out 20 jars of things that arent' in season, so they are tough for Suzy Homemaker to make. Tons of berries in Stage 2 foods. I could hear my Mom's voice in my head. Now, I'm not Heather, so I don't do the exact opposite of what Mom says everytime. I looked in my fancy books. My peditrician said berries are fine. Google=Berries are great! So we purchase the 20 jars, mostly with berries. Yesterday morning Clare eats yummy pears and rasberries. Delicious. Loved 'em.
NOT EVEN 6 HOURS LATER=SPOTS ON HER CHIN!
She even had one random spot in the middle of her eyes (it was like a middle school disaster all over again). I almost didn't tell my Mom. I mean, would you call and tell on yourself? It's like asking someone to tell you I told you so. She was really good about it (the words never left her mouth even if she was clearly thinking them). So, score one for Dr. Mom.
Onto more fun stories from the Millers. (This one if for all my pregnant friends, although that list seems to be growing :). It tells you why I married Chris. I went to paint on Sunday, so I went into the bottom of the closet and grabbed my painting jeans. You can see paint from every room in the house that I've painted. Very pretty. Also, about 5 years old. So, I squeeze my postpartum body into the suckers and came strutting downstairs. Chris asks how old the jeans are and refrains from mentioning the fit. I explain that I too was shocked that I could button them, but that wasn't taking into account the "muffin top". He asks for futher clarification (men don't know what muffin tops are?!?). His response, "Well everyone knows the muffin top is the best part" (ala Seinfeld). How cute is that? I think that shows that Chris can in fact think quickly on his feet. It made me hysterically giggle. 'Cause no one wants that type of muffin top. That muffin top is a direct result of to many muffins. And have no fear there won't be pics of that.
P.S. If you've made it this far, I've had 5 or 6 emails about leaving comments. I think you have to sign up for a gmail account (per Aunt Lisa) and then it will allow you to leave comments. I'm not the computer person in this house, so I'm not sure, but that's how Aunt Lisa did it:0

Weekend Adventures

Goodness, we have so much to catch up on. I promise lots of pictures, because I'm sure many of you are only interested in the kid. Fair enough. On Friday we went to visit Aunt Ginny (see picture above). Clare had lots of fun. She showed us her mad skills at holding the bottle up. Then I went home and conked out. The flu or something knocked me out. I went to bed at 6:30 on Friday night. Clare gave Chris hell! She showed Daddy all of her newest talents. She yelled at him (again, Aunt Heather's niece, what can you expect). She whined (which as you can imagine, my daughter rocks at!). She even screamed (Ahhh, who to blame for this one? Aunt Lisa? Aunt Erin? The list is endless:). Rumor is she's spoiled. I keep telling myself she is just teething, which is just my excuse, because if she's spoiled then it's my fault. However, I would like Grandma Dawn and Nana to take some ownership of this as well. So, back to her "teething". No there are no "actual" teeth, details, schmetails. Chris gave the all time favorite: Orajel. Let me share. When we give Clare Orajel, first she turns the color of a tomato. Then, she screams. Then she drools. Then she giggles. It must be uncomfortable but effective. Pictures above, see if can identify which ones. On Sunday, Chris took Clare out and about so I could paint the dining room, which is finally the correct shade of yellow. Clare did do something fairly alarming this weekend. She scooted her legs up underneath her and started to shuffle them back and forth. Thankfully she can't figure out how to make the arms work at the same time. Otherwise, I'm screwed. I am so not ready for her to crawl. She still hasn't sat up on her own, so crawling should be a few months away. I was scheduling her 6 month pictures and I just can't believe that she will be 6 months old soon. She wanted to show you all her cute boots, which she rocked all weekend. Another new skill is reaching for things out in front of her and above her head. She mostly utilizes this skill to pull my hair and to reach for my drinks and try to knock them over (which I need so much help doing). Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Yeah, Naps!

Well, today was Heaven. Pure Amazement. It was the first shower I have had in ages that did require me to poke my head out every 3 minutes to play peek-a-boo with this angry little thing sitting in her bumboo, bebe or whatever the hell it's called (how can they expect you to remember the name when it's called something so stupid?). Seriously, I discovered this amazing thing, it's called a razor. I often tell myself it's winter, so it's not a big deal if I posted pics of my legs and Chris's and you couldn't differentiate. Right? Did you know that coffee can be served in a cup? Not a travel mug with a lid? I didn't remember. I drink it out of a mug with a lid. Rumor is I spill. I'm positive I will pour scalding hot coffee on the baby, so I only drink it with a lid and not holding the baby. I forgot what it taste like in a real cup. So, Aunt Ginny and Aunt Jessica watched Clare today. Unbelievable. I took ::gasp:: a nap. I originally had planned on painting (see posts below about me being Monet and thus capable of picking the perfect yellow). However, we had a rough night last night (and unlike HS and college, it didn't include CC) so I was worn out! So, thank you, thank you, thank you to Aunt Ginny and Aunt Jessica. It was even topped off with a delicious home cooked meal from Aunt Ginny. I did pack up the entire household to go to Aunt Ginny's house (why for 6 hours what would you need at 5 months old: Hippo activity mat, butterfly toy, 2 squishy toys, glow worm, baby crack machine, bumbo/bebe/wierd seat thingy with matching watermelon tray cover, jumping johnny, activity bar, formula for 9 bottles, reg. milk, peaches, cereal, sippy cup, juice/water blend, ice pack, 2 bottles, diaper bag with it's fun stuff, etc.) . Chris was curious as to whether I was planning on picking her back up 6 hours later. She had a fun day. She was fast asleep by 9:30 and we could barely wake her up for a bottle! Aunt Ginny loved the 2 pics above from shutterfly. She thought they should have captions, the first one saying, "Who me?" and the 2nd "Are you crazy?". I keep cracking up when I see them. So, I assume you really read the blog to see pics of the kid, not to read my witty commentary on life, so I knew I had to include pics, even if they are older.

Paint and Peaches

C's cousin Sierra came over to play with her today. C is a big fan. I tricked Sierra into feeding her the avocado/banana mix. It was mean, but she's 9. She'll forgive me. C was okay with it b/c it was mostly bananas. At this rate, the 10lbs of avocados in the fridge will only take a year to get through. Also on the feeding front, I finally tricked the kid into eating peaches. They smell awful. They aren't homemade (peaches ala Earth's Best organic). They remind me of the smell of Norwood. The scent from the booze factory near the highway. It was a gross, overly sweet smell I can remember from driving to visit Chris in Hyde Park. Cincy girls, what was the liquor made there? I can never remember. What's odd is how much I probably liked the end result. So the peaches smell like a by product of some type of alcoholic beverage, yet C hates them. Not sure if she can go to Taylor with that type of attitude. Anyway, C had a big day with Mommy of exploring paint colors at Lowe's (for the 10th time). It's next to Target we may burn down/shop at everyday. We are searching for what will be our 4th or 5th shade of yellow for the dining room. Chris has banned me from picking another yellow. So I (**think, b/c it's between the 40+ 2x2 squares taped to the wall) picked golden straw. We just won't tell Chris. Yellow is my curse. I love it, but i can't get the shade right. It's too sunny the current color. Erin was saying after she decides she hates something, every time she sees it, she hates it more, further sealing it's fate. Same thing with yellow paint. 2 months after I paint, I decide I hate it and MUST repaint. I'm hoping to avoid Chris's "help" anyway (paint sprayer story). I will take pics of C and the final result tomorrow!

Missing Pic's for Mom

Here are some of the pics missing from the slideshow and new ones from bath time. Grandma Dawn wanted copies of some of the pics, so it was easier to post them all. C thought it was so funny when I put the washcloth on her head. As soon as I pulled out the camera, she gave me the crabbiest facial expressions. It reminded me of when I was little and I was telling C how Aunt Erin and I always played like we had long hair with pillowcases. I keep telling her if she would just grow hair, we wouldn't have to play this game. I also told her I wouldn't make her wear headbands anymore. I'm lying, but hopefully she won't remember. It's so hard not to buy the matching hair clips at gymboree. They are so cute. But baldy doesn't even have enough hair to clip them to. I'm sure when she's 3 I'll be complaining about how much hair she has:). Chris pointed out that her hair is coming in lighter in the back (she has a huge bald spot from where she sleeps), so I'm assuming over the summer it will start to turn. At least she has hair. Grandma Dawn reminds me all the time that I was bald until I was 2!

Sippy Cup

C has a huge interest in cups. Loves them. When Chris and I drink, she is always following our cups and trying to smack them. So we started letting her "play" drink. The problem is that she does not recognize that some of Mommy's drinks (or many of Mommy's drink, depending on the day) are not suitable for 5 month old babies. As you can imagine, this makes her angry. Because she is Aunt Heather's niece, she yells when she's angry. So, rather than give into the urge and let her try my Pomegranate/Vodka mix (which may make her sleep in the next morning), we went to Target and purchased sippy cups. For those of you who heard my Target rant several weeks ago, where I threatened to burn the store down, light people on fire and never, ever shop Target again. Well, what can I say. We all knew I would shop Target again. It's Target. How can you resist when they build a new store a mile from your house. It has everything. It's like the cleaner version of Walmart. So, off to Target where we purchased several sippy cups, new fancy spoons (because maybe she will be less messy than Mommy at feeding herself) and a shopping cart cover so that I can be THAT MOM. Anyway, the video is her using her new sippy cup. She seems to like it. I think she would like it more with one of my drinks in it. I'm waiting for Chris to suggest I use it myself (as you may know, if you've met me, I spill...A TON). Her favorite game is fetch. Not with the dogs. With her parents. She throws things off her tray and we fetch them. I was reading this helps develop their sense of cause and effect. I'm thinking we should teach her a different effect than me picking it up 100 times. I think this game goes on for years. At least she's a girl, so she'll grow out of throwing things on the floor and waiting for me to pick them up. Chris took her to "the ACME" to look at the creepy seafood. She sat up like a big girl, with her new fancy shopping cart cover. So, C had a big night.

C's Proves Mommy Wrong!!!

Now that we have given her a new format to be the center of attention, she has decided to allow us to record her rolling over. Dad was getting her ready for a bath and she decided to showcase her talent (proving Mom has not been telling fibs). Daddy called me up stairs and I went flying up with the camera! I think she did it because she knows just yesterday I wrote she wouldn't. It makes me fear she is more like Aunt Heather than we could have ever hoped. If that's the case, I'm sorry Seth, but we are picking Amber and Thea up and going for a drive, soon!

5 Month Pics

Well, we will see how this goes....

I can't make any promises this is going to go well. The first clue this may not work is the 2 hours it took me to figure out how to load pictures from I Photo. I spent much of the time blaming the Mac, as if I'm so tech-smart on a PC. Routine is clearly not my strong suit or my house would be cleaner. The idea is to have all of C's pics and videos in one place. The plan is to post C's 5 month pics and the newest videos by Monday. I will spare you all the 25 minute video of me begging her to roll over again for the camera, since we've yet to record this milestone.